I don't know about the Muggle god, but I can believe in the Dark Lord.
I have to. It's his mark that graces my arm now.
And the irony is that I had decided not to follow him, to follow the side of the Light, but was not aware and fell into a trap.
Undoubtedly if I ever see my father again, there will be a fight over which one of us betrayed the other. A duel, even.
Perhaps that is what hurts the most, that the only person I have truly trusted has betrayed me, but would never see that as a betrayal, instead viewing it as fulfillment of purpose. A purpose that has been fulfilled, although I do not agree with it.
I wonder that the Dark Lord did not sense my hesitation when he Marked me. Perhaps he did.
Or perhaps he is even more insane than I had postulated. Which scarcely seems possible.
I suppose if he were to read this, I would receive the Cruciatus for my efforts, but I doubt he troubles himself. And I am pleased that I did not betray anyone. Of course, that would have been more difficult if he had tortured me, but...I can feel him in my mind now. Always there. Waiting, almost. Not active, but present.
His thoughts shade mine.
I may go visit my mother. Strange. I haven't thought of seeing her for a very long time.
Italy sounds very nice. But I doubt I will allow myself to go.